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| I know I haven't really updated anything lately, I guess it's time. I just moved to St Augustine, about two weeks ago. I also went to DC last weekend, to the surprise to almost everyone. I had a great time.
I know, I'm not really providing details like I should but I really feel unmotivated to sit in front of the computer when I know there's millions of other things to do. At least I can tell myself that it's 11 pm and I need to sit down anyway. It's strange; the people who really know me would say it's very unlike me to be 'unmotivated' to sit in front of the computer because I've been in love with computers since I was introduced to one when I was five years old.
This is off topic, but I need to express how much I really miss this guy.
David Guzman
ah, the memories :D
I know I only met and got to know him a year ago but he's one of those people with a personality that you can't help but to fall in love with. I miss talking to him, seeing his face and his laugh. Don't get me wrong; I'm not romantically interested in him, just in his friendship. He's been living in California with his finacee and he's happy. I'm happy that he's happy but I miss him. Ok. Moving on.
Ah yes, Billy came and visited me two days ago. My mother finally got the chance to meet him and it was great. He stayed for a few hours; we mostly kicked back and talked. It was so good to see him - it had been too long. In fact, two more months would have made it a year since I last saw him. We're definitely going to see more of each other in the near future.
In other news, I've been doing great. Following my intuition, I applied at Petco even though they told me they weren't hiring. Two days later I went back to the place and got hired at the spot. It was great. The manager thinks I'm overqualified for the job even with my 'handicap'. He told me that he has no reserves about prompting someone with a handicap and it doesn't even depend on how long the person have been working there. He has confided in me that he thinks I would be going to places fast. I start Tuesday and it's part-time. It's perfect for me because I wanted to volunteer on the side.
Speaking of intuitions, I've noticed myself getting better and better at pinpointing my intuition and I try to follow them. There's just too many times that I know I need to do or say something, but I don't really act on it, then something happens that makes me think, I should have done or said something! Even though I try not to ignore it, sometimes I just do. I'm trying hard not to do that though.
There are other skills that I've picked up on along the way too. Even though if I don't really know the person, I can tell when a person's lying or not, I can tell when a person's personality has changed, I can feel a person's vibes, and I've recently started to practice seeing other people's auras. It's a new and exciting thing for me.
I believe that even though you feel that you know yourself deeply than anyone else, there are always new things about yourself that you discover. It's an exciting thing when you realize that you've learned another thing about yourself. I know myself and I know what I want but there are some days when I'm surprised with something new about myself. I think once you uncover, know, and embrace your weakness, you become stronger. By recognizing it, you are acknowledging that you wont let the weakness get in the way when you see the first signs of it emerging. That's just the way I see it.
Right now, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my whole life. I make it a point to smile at everyone, even strangers. I try to do any good deeds I can. I open doors for anyone and if someone drops something on the floor, I pick it up for them. Why not? I think everyone needs to do this and spread kindness and happiness to everyone. It's not enough that you do it in the comfort of your own home, in the boundaries of your friends and family. Extend it to the outsiders and out of your comfort zone. When you make others happy, you make yourself happy too. That's just my philosophy.
There I go again, going from one point to another. Seeing that it's been thirty minutes since I started typing this entry, I think I better stop writing, click post, close the window, and put the computer to sleep then do the same for myself.
G'nite everyone. | | |
| Damn. Well what have I been up to? Currently I'm still in Ocoee, going out of my mind. I'm so ready to get out of here - more than ready. I was ready in August. Oh well, at least it should be happening this weekend. I'm moving to St Augustine with mom in a brand-new two-bedroom/two bathroom apartment. How grand!
My mom's been thinking about opening her own deaf cafe in St Augustine. We have put together a lot of ideas and we are confident that this business is going to be successful. We're getting the word out very soon, we also want input from the deaf community and the general population. We're currently looking for a location that is both near FSDB and Flagler College. That's also the reason why we're moving to St Augustine.
In other news, Billy's son is going to be born anytime soon. His name is going to be Andrew, named after Billy's younger brother, AJ, who used to be my classmate. Damn, I wonder what Andrew will look like. I have no idea what Theresa (the mother) looks like, I have this picture of her in my head, she has brown hair, basically a pretty plain-looking woman in her 30s. Since I'm moving to St Augustine, I'm going to see Billy a lot more. Some of you might already know, Jay broke up with me. Yes, it was out of blue and I took it hard. He was one of the most wonderful man that I was very lucky to get to know, let alone date. I'm cutting my losses and moving on. I have to, otherwise I would fall in a hole. I've worked too hard to get to where I am emotionally, I'm not going to let anything to break that down. Anyway, so since Billy and I are going to see a lot of each other in the near future, I'm sure it wont be long before we'll start seeing each other again. Billy has expressed that he's not interested or planning to marry Theresa. Although he didn't say anything to me, I have this feeling that he's still interested in me. So, I guess I'll see what happens.
Other than that, life's good. I've been learning a lot everyday from all sort of sources, including books and people. My eyes has been opened way more than it has been before. It's hard to explain but I feel like a whole new person. Many people have noticed that too. This only further confirm that I've made all of the right decisions thus far. Although I miss some of those people that I had to cut out of my life, it was for the better. I've met so many wonderful people who turned into my friends. I'm loving life, no matter what kind of obstacles I run into. I've learned how to remain in good mood no matter what the circumstances are. By remaining happy and having a clear mind, I get out of life more than I ever could. I no longer get mad over little things or let other people's anger affect me. Damn, I sound like Buddha or something. LOL.
The thing I'm looking forward to the most is the future. Whatever happens is going to be exciting. Life is grand. | | |
| know what pisses me off?
deaf people thinking/acting like deaf people cant do it. what the fuck? we tell ourselves and the world that we CAN do it and yet we baby ourselves.
there are sooo many examples I can use. for instance, in any hearing college, if a student leaves the classroom or stare out of the window, the teachers are paid to not give a damn. its the student's responsibility to learn. in deaf college, like gallaudet, if you once glance at your pager to see what time it is or avert your eyes somewhere else, the teacher gets pissed and tell you to pay attention.
what the fuck.
WE pay to go to college. its up to us if we want to use the materials that the teachers provide us with. WE are in control of our learning process.
another example, the cafeteria at gallaudet. the students there takes advantage of the cafe workers by leaving their trays on the table for them to clean up. the right place to put them is less than 10 feet away. why are we too lazy? our legs arent broken. yet, day after day, the tables are filled with dirty trays, plates, cups, you name it. I suggested to the boss that they should go on one-day strike, refusing to clean the tables and if they want to eat at a clean table, they have to clean it up themselves so they can experience first-hand how hard those workers work to clean for us on daily basis. the boss refused to do it because she felt that we wont grasp the concept.
are deaf people really stupid? I disagree. too many deaf people dont give us the benefit of doubt and always suppress us. I honestly think the few hearing people Ive known had more faith in me than all of the deaf people Ive known in my whole life.
how sad. we're constantly trying to prove ourselves in the real world while the people in our own background and culture think we cant do it. | | |
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